Just an update

We took this last weekend to have a little time away and see a little of Alaska with Grandpa Mac. We left Friday and came back Sunday. Mom and I drove in one car with the girls and Ray and Grandpa Mac drove in another with the boys. It was a beautiful drive and we only had one misshape. Grandpa Oborn changed the oil on the little car that morning and forgot to put the oil cap back on. We caught it before the engine blew up. but it was exciting for a while.

Josh had a wonderful baptism. It kind of weired me out a little because it was exactly 8 weeks to the hour that we were at Sandy's baptism and then Ray had his heart thing so I was kind of holding my breath until 12:07 passed and nothing happened. Amy had a great open house and had lots of friends there. Then we took the kids to Santa's house and then went to pioneer park and saw a little bit of Alaskan history; it rained on us but was fun anyway.

We have kind of gotten into a little routine and are getting used to our daily life, just in time for Ray to have his open heart surgery. It will be on the 12th so pls. feel free to pray for us on that day. We think that Ray will be in the hospital for about a week and we are so grateful to Tressa and John for letting the kids stay with them while we are at the hospital.

So along with every thing else I have been trying to study for my NARM test ( my midwifery test) that will be on the 20th so you can pray for me on that day to.LOL

I hope everyone is doing well love you all

HI

I can not believe it has been 3 weeks and 2 days that we have been home.

Ray is doing really well, We go to therapies 3 days a weeks for 2 hours one hour for speech and one hour for occupational. They manly focus on memory and cognitive problem solving skills. You can hardly tell an out word difference. It is his short term memory that is still really bad. his concept of time and things, it is hard to explain if you are not living it 24 hours a day.

Lily expressed to me the other day while she was in tears her concerns and fears about our dad. I was a little over whelmed because the kids seem to be handily the changes in our life fairly well. I was trying to console her with the what you say to kids after a horrible thing have happened (every thing is going to be alright, Dad is not dead) and she looked at me with those very perceptive eyes and said" Some times it feels like he is. When I look at him sometimes it does not seem like he is my dad. and then that makes me feel guilty because I know that he is my dad and he is trying really hard."

How that just hit me like a ton of bricks for that is the same things I have been struggling with there is not anything out right not right with Ray; not any thing some one walking down the street would say "oh look that guy died 6 weeks ago." It is just the little nuances that we love about our husbands that are not back yet. It can feel very lonely some days and some days I just feel like a broken record, having to tell Ray about conversations we had the day before, those are some of the things that we are working on in therapy he is learning to write notes down about his day and conversations.

We had a TEE this morning to confirm that he needs heart valve surgery and he does. They might be able to repair it and not have to put in a new one. That is great news. He will still have the ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) for the rest of his life but it looks like it should be a nice long life:)

Every night I go to bed and am thankful for The second chance Ray and I have been given. We are so blessed to be able to raise our children together and walk along the river or what ever because we literally have all the time in the world. I asked Ray if he had any of those feelings like the people on the moves have after coming back from the dead that they just want to go live life to the fullest and not waist any minute. He told me no that he just wants to raise our kids to be great individuals. I have to admit though I feel like we need to go on some great once in a life tome adventure. We have been given such a gift and we need to share that with people. Our family knows that our heavenly father lives and he has a great plan of happiness for us, how cool is that. And the reality is even though we have had this great and wonderful miracle in our lives I still had a hard time getting up and going to church this Sunday and we still have to deal with bills etc. I have realized through this whole thing, that does not mean I am a bad or week in spirit it just means that I am mortal the way that heavenly father created me and that he knows and loves me any way. Ray and I have been given an opportunity to better not only our lives but the lives of family and our friends. I hope that we we can and will do that in what ever way we can. For I know that all of you better My life with your love support and prayers.

We are going home

We are going home!! I can't believe it has only been 3 weeks and 1 day scenes I was calling 911 and giving my husband CPR. Ray has made incredible strides. The doctors don't know what to think about it.
First he was not spouse to make it through the night, then he was not spouse to wake up and then he was going to be a vegetable and then he was going to probable have a different personality and not be able to function on his own. Well none of that is true. He is doing great. Rays doctor stoped me in the cafeteria to tell me that he works with about 5-6 patience a year that have had similar head injuries and that none of them have made such rapid recovery as Ray has. He said that Ray is probable 75%-80% back to normal and is expected to make a full recovery. He will not be able to work or drive a car for a while and we are spouse to hide the power tools. LOL He is going to have more out of the hospital rehab speech and physical therapy to work on his memory and endurance.
I have to say that I am a little scared tonight of going home tomorrow. It has been so easy to sit in the hospital and see how Ray is improving everyday and say every thing is going to be OK. But the reality of dealing with life post CPR is going to start hitting as soon as we walk out the doors.
My biggest fear is that Ray will think that he has let the family down because he can't work. How can I explain to him that his willingness to come back to our family and give up being with the lord for me and the kids. Is something that I will always treasure, more than any job or financial stability he could ever offer me.
How did I get so blessed to have Ray in my life?

THANK YOU!!

Thank you for all the prayers and love that you have given us.
Thank you to all the family and friends that wept and rejoiced with us.
Thank you for the support and courage you gave me.
Thank you for the priesthood power that you are willing to live worthy to hold.
Thank you for your willingness to share and use that awesome power.
The lord has given us his priesthood that we may use it and perform the miracles that he sees fit. Not just the big miracles such as we have all been privileged to be part of with Ray, but the small ones of comfort and peace. The ones you give your children when they go to the first day of school, or when they have the flu. I am so thankful for the knowledge and testimony I have of priesthood blessings. That has grown with me from when I was a child through the example of the small blessing. That I might have the faith I needed to put my trust in a priesthood blessing; to know that no matter what the out come, our heavenly father was pleased with my husband and the eternal family that we have created.
I am thankful for the fathers blessing that my father gave me that counseled me not to worry, for worry comes from satin and with worry you can not have faith. When I turned my heart to trust and faith in the lord and my eternal companion my heart was full and I have had peace.
Ray is doing well. He has been moved to the Rehab center of the hospital and we will get a game plan a prognosis tomorrow. He has trouble with his speech and motor skills and memory he has difficulty remembering what we talked about 20 min ago and where we live or the recent trip to Disneyland. but he remembers the important things( that we love each other and our children) the rest will come or it wont we have a life time to find out.
Thank you again for your love and prayers

OK that was so fun I love posting photos hope you like them. Kind of gets you up to date at what we have been doing for the last month or so. I have not had a lot of time to get on the computer and just look around. I can spend hours looking at all the families blogs it is so much fun to see what everyone is doing. All the cousins and every thing. We have had a fun week with Sabrina and Katie staying with us The girls are all sleeping in Grandpa Macs room all together; they think that is so cool.

I had a thought on Sunday this week that I have been meaning to share. It is one of those thoughts that come to me when I am least expecting them.

Sunday morning I woke up in a not so good mood as has been the normal for me lately when it comes to 9am church. The last few weeks I have not made it to church because of a birth. Ray was really excited not have to get the kids ready by himself and to get to go to church as a family. Any way I was in a really not so nice mood and I picked a fight with my husband. (I know hard to believe) I wanted to stay in bed longer. So I told him I did not need as much time to get the kids ready as he did because I am Supper Mom. (or something to that affect.) Lets just say it was not the best spirit in my home that morning but we were able to get to church on time. Then I realized it was Fast Sunday and well that kind of annoyed me to.
Just as sacrament meeting is about to start my phone rings (I have to keep it on at church in case I get called to a birth)It was my dad, he needs a ride to the church for a meeting. I am really excited that I get to miss some of the meeting, so I jump at the chance to go.
OK I know you are thinking that I am really an awful person right now not wanting to be a church with my family.This is why am telling you this story.
I get my dad but my mom needs to get the car they left at my house the night before. So I am thinking cool I might miss all of Sacrament meeting. I take my dad to the church and my mom up to my house. We decide to take a look at the flower boxes I planted because my husband told my mom that they were not doing so well (thanks Honey another excuse not to get back to the church) My mom is looking at my flower boxes and says" are you watering these?"
and I say "yes"
She says "well they need water that is whats wrong with them."
and I say " I have been giving them water regularly" a little annoyed at her for thinking I can't water flowers ( really we are talking a chore a 4 year old can do.)So I proceed to show her that I do know what I am doing and start watering the flowers.
My mom says" OK if that is all you are doing it is not good enough you need to be getting the routes all the way at the bottom of the box. If this is going to work; if you want them to service you really have to give them water until it is coming out of the bottom of the box." and she proceeds to what looks like drowned my flowers with lots of water.
You see were my house sits we have great southern light and lots of pretty steady wind. This really sucks the moister out of the soil.
So this is the thought that came to me.
My life and testimony is like my flower boxes if you look at them from a far off
they are quite pretty, but if you look close they are struggling not reaching there full potential.
As is with my life and testimony, I guess I thought I am doing enough. We go to church, We are well religious about family prayer in the evening, I even have about 40% OK maybe 30% visiting teaching record. I feed the missionary 2-3 times a month, my kids listen to the primary songs,and my husband and I are temple recommend holders. I mean we look the part. But then why was I so excited to get out of going to church. And what was up with my attitude that morning.
It accord to me that I am treating my testimony like I was treating my flower boxes I was just doing the bare minimal that is required of me. I am not doing any thing to really sock the routes of my testimony. It was quite a wake up call. There is so much more I could be doing.
We spend a lot of time as a family, but we do not have weekly family home evenings with a lesson. We say family prayers but not couple prayers, and we have stooped reading the scriptures on a regular bases. not to say that we never do these things but they are few and far between.
So I am having these thoughts as I get back to church in time for a few more testimonies and a woman in our ward stood up and told an interesting story.

She walked by a stack of about 2000 paper bags that were sitting an her porch for the u-pick farm her family is running for her parents while they are on there mission and she thinks I should move those. but she doesn't and she walks by them all day with the same thought and not a cloud in the sky. But then as it some times does in our area it rained that night. Not all of the bags were ruined but a lot were. What she said next is what touched me most.
It is not enough to know what you are spouse to do if you don't do it.
Wow was heavenly father talking to me that day or what. So needless to say I am making a new commitment to excellence because our heavenly father wants us to reach our potential.

The deck

Make a Smilebox photobook

Make a Smilebox photobook